Today is a Special Day

Today is a special day for me. It is both my anniversary and my youngest son's birthday. Yesterday evening my husband asked if I was excited about today. At first I didn't know what he was talking about, which I think might have hurt his feelings.

I didn't mean to, and I had to apologize again this morning for seeming so callous. There's a reason why it didn't ding with me right away. I was never a big wedding person (obviously as it took 10 years before I'd get married). So, the anniversary is not really the highlight of my year.

What is that highlight is the daily gift that my marriage brings to me. I know I don't show it well. I can write down emotions and feelings, but verbalizing them is a WHOLE other potato that doesn't bake well with me.

Every day is more important than the one day a year, because whether I've had a bad day or a good day, I know that my husband will be my champion. He'll try to fix what's wrong (even if all I need is an ear) and he'll try to make me happy when I'm sad or upset. He understands my faults and my demons and loves me anyways.

I can see that love when he's riding my waves of irritation, moodiness, or introversion. I can see that love when we're doing nothing but riding the boat up and down the river in complete silence. I can see that love when the four kids are all talking at dinner and he and I share a look across the table.

I love him.

I love him more than he'll ever understand because I can't verbalize or write it well enough. I love it when he's grouchy. I love it when he laughs and tells his stories. I love that he'd take on 3 criminals just to get a friend's bike back. I love that sense of home and place he helped teach my gypsy soul. And, I love that he'll stretch out of his comfort zone to share adventures with me. I love that we'll both geek out over late night B movies.

Most of all, I love that even when he's not around I am comforted and strengthened by his presence and the love we have for each other.

So, as I do every year (a day late sometimes), I'll get him a gift and a card that won't express enough how much I love him and inside I'll know that we'll have a lifetime of anniversaries because we were meant to be together forever.

True love really does exist.

Coming Home

Okay, I'll admit it. Yesterday was a pisser of a day at work. Some days just are, I guess.

Driving home - which automatically puts me in a foul mood as I prefer walking - I held back the urge to curse and yell at the traffic, inched my way the 2 miles home at the pace I could've walked, then maneuvered into the drive so I wouldn't run over the hose nozzle that sprawled right where my tire goes.

I turned off the car and took a deep breath, then looked over into the front yard. There was Hubby talking with a friend (most likely about fishing). He glanced over and tossed me one of his crooked smiles. Added with the sparkling greens he was born with, a little weight of the day slid off my shoulders.

I piled out with my bag, rounded the car, and headed up the sidewalk. Passing them, I confirmed with an inner grin that yes, indeed, they were talking Sturgeon. Entering the house, I found it cleaned and empty of my mini peeps.

Bummer. They usually perk me up with their welcoming barrage. Oh well, I thought and drudged down the hall to change out of my work clothes.

There, welcoming me through the bedroom window were the squeals, laughs, and hollers of my children playing in the pool. The rest of the weight crumbled off my shoulders. I stood at the window and watched them for several minutes.

This is what makes those pisser days worth it, coming home to a family.

Mommy's Day

What a great day!

Mother's Day was so awesome and my husband and kids were so great. They do Mother's Day so wonderful. Breakfast in the morning, spoiling all day long, and pizza and movies in the evening.

As Moms, we don't expect reward for taking care of our kids and making the best life possible for them. The joy and need comes naturally to us...like breathing, walking, and talking. It's what we're suppose to do...and doing it completes us as a person.

But it is nice when your family shows appreciation for the work involved in being a Mommy. When they show what you mean to them. As the kids grow up, it becomes harder to define what part we play in their lives anymore. That visual slice becomes smaller and smaller. So when the teenagers give those extra hugs, kisses, laughter, and smiles on Mommy's Day to show that I still am an important part in their hearts, it means a lot.

And the little boys were so excited, this was the first year they fully participated in the festivities. They loved it so much they didn't want it to end.

Super Wy laid in my lap after nap, playing with my hand and said, "I wish everyday was Mommy's Day."

...to me, everyday IS Mommy's Day and I wouldn't have it any other way.

River Quest

With the return of the sun, the kids and I decided an adventure was in order. We packed up sandwiches, crackers, and drinks and headed out to the river trail.

The day was perfect with poofy clouds and a slight breeze. For some time we followed the paved walkway, then paused at a resting point.

"Mom, Mom. Let's go this way!" Holy Terror gestured.

Just beyond the paved walk, a little dirt path wandered out closer the riverbank. So, off the beaten path we went. About twenty feet in, we spotted a miniature house (the size of a small dog house) to the right, placed well into some bushes.

"That must be the Beavers' home," Drama Queen joked.

"Or the Bobcats," Parkour Boy countered.

Moving on, the path opened up to wetlands on one side and the river on the other. The grass was so green it looked almost neon. The smell of muddy river water and moist reeds filled the air.

"Animal tracks!" Super Wy exclaimed, dropping to a crouch. As I took a picture he looked up and smiled. "They're dinosaur tracks. Or a tiger."

Super Wy headed on, crouched and growling like a T-Rex on the hunt. We paused along a river bend and took some pretty pictures. Holy Terror pointed out the ducks with his long walking stick. Parkour Boy threw out a yelp and the ducks skimmed off the water and into the sky. But when I looked over, he hadn't been watching the ducks lift-off. He stood smiling down at Holy Terror who was giggling and smiling at the duck spectacle.

I played it cool and quietly enjoyed the brother moment, so as not to embarrass Parkour Boy at the "catch".

Throughout the next half-hour we joked and talked about the sights and sounds until we reached the end, where the river breaks through and seeps into the wetlands. The older kids jumped of the walk, down into the bank and helped the little boys down. The four explored the muddy area looking for fish and other nature treasures.

Certain moments caught my attention. Drama Queen holding Super Wy's hand as he worked his way to the edge. Parkour Boy grasping Holy Terrors shoulder before he lost his balance on a small log. Parkour Boy helping Drama Queen out of a deep soggy area so she wouldn't lose a shoe.

On the way back I remembered wishing I could whistle. This, so I could express the joy in my soul. The moment was so perfect. Thinking back on it now, I ache a little that we couldn't still be there.

It's these kinds of memories mothers cherish for a lifetime.

Love of My Life

Bowling balls smashed into the pins. Teams, teens, and families either cheered or jeered. I followed my cousins along the dim, smoky viewing galley to the billiard room. There, on the other side of the pool table stood a tall young man with red hair peeking out of his hat and the brightest green eyes I'd ever seen. Those eyes looked up to smile at my cousins and met mine instead.

My heart skipped a couple beats. A slow blush rose from his neck up to his cheeks. My heart fell.

He had to be mine. I knew at that moment what it was to fall head-over-heels.

Sixteen years later and I still feel the skip of a heartbeat whenever I look at him. Every morning I look over at him and my heart falls all over again.

Today he turns 32 and we've grown a lot since that night at the bowling alley. The love I felt for him then pales in comparison to the love of today. Ash is an amazing husband and father, but most importantly in a long-term relationship, he's my best friend and fellow geek.

Geek you say? Oh yeah. He's not a sci-fi geek like me but he's got a bright big GEEK pin stuck on his heart. Besides our joint geeking of Japanese films, Transformers, and Rally Racing, his major geekdom is fishing (hence the cake).

For his birthday I let the kids have free reign to get him special stuff just they picked out. Super Wy got him a fake banana and a screwdriver. Holy Terror got him a rubber mallet. Drama Queen got him a carpenter square. Billy sketched him a fish picture and framed it.

Then the kids and I baked him a chocolate cake with chocolate pudding filling and chocolate icing. Drama Queen decorated it with, of course, Ash's favorite thing...fish.

I cannot believe the luck to find someone so great and to still feel the passionate love after so many years. My only hope is that he and I get many more birthdays together.

Happy birthday baby...love you always and forever!