Making an Impact

Growing up, my dreams evolved but one constant theme stuck. I always wanted to make an impact. To have a big dent in this world stamped with "Amber was here".

It started rudimentary enough with dreams of becoming Optimus Prime, which led to Wonder Woman, Bruce Lee, an astronaut, and all the way to being an FBI Agent. As you can guess, those career ideas didn't really pan out for various reasons:

• Optimus Prime = not an alien robot
• Wonder Woman = born in US and not in a super female Amazonian tribe
• Bruce Lee = lacked required parts and nationality
• Astronaut = eyesight and motion sickness

FBI Agent...well, now that one was possible. It ended up being the top profession in my aptitude test and all my scores placed me as a prime candidate if that path had...well, let's just say for a long time a small part of me thought I'd failed myself. That I'd not reach my life potential.

Just a small seed, but we all know small seeds fester.

It was some time before I realized everything worked for a reason. I had this hidden mom gene inside that needed to bust through (blast through really). There was this creative and artistic streak that was slowly being smothered by my analytical side. There was this sense of family, nesting, and community slowly suffocating by my need for privacy and solitude.

Now, so many years later, I've started to feel comfortable in my own skin and have built a niche in the world. Not the big moon size crater I'd planned, but a more meaningful and deeper one than I'd ever imagined.

It's hard to take when dreams get dashed, sliced, or dissipate but there really is a reason. Sometimes what you most want isn't what you most want and you don't realize it until the real thing you've been wanting comes along.

Saying Sorry

I receive a newsletter that focuses on inspiration, spirituality, and faith. It’s not uber religious, just really helps align your life priorities. This morning’s came up and the big article was on saying your sorry. As I read through, it really hit a larger cord on family infrastructure for me.

In a family, the two most important things you can, and have to, say is “I love you” and “I’m sorry”. Unlike the screenwriters’ opinion that “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”, in my opinion love means having to say it more.

Your family is closely connected to who you are and why you are; so much so, they become an extension of your being. And as a human, sometimes you tend to be as hard on them as you are on yourself.

People expose their emotions, their weakness, and their dreams to family that they don’t to the “outside world”. In stressful and/or weak moments, this information can become ammo in an internalized situation.

Just a few weeks ago my sister and I got in an argument. Her and I hardly ever argue and we both found ourselves saying hurtful things. But, they weren’t really meant at the other person. They were just misguided communication tactics to try and express the internal hurt and fear we were feeling.

The important thing we did after we both calmed down was talk it through and take that step in understanding the other person’s emotions and fears. Our friendship, our love, and our respect for each other overcame the negative and hurtful things we said.

Like I always say, “Family is forever and God wouldn’t have put you together in life if you couldn’t handle it.”

Here's the article from Beliefnet GLOW. It's very interestingand takes a unique perspective on apologies. How to Say 'Sorry'

Halloween Memories

Tomorrow is Halloween and as probably in your home, things have been hectic at the Norris Ranch in preparation of the festivities. Even during the hectic time, I find my nostalgia kicking into high gear. Many moments where I find myself remembering little things about Halloween past in our household.

The older kids have started picking more “mature” outfits with high scare, creepy, or gross out factors. But there was a time where they, like the little boys now, picked their hero or icon.

For about 6 years Sea Scout Boy was nothing but Batman…every year. At the time, it drove me nuts. I’d get aggravated and try to talk him into ANYTHING else. But he was devoted and when he slipped on the bat suit, you could see in his eyes the transformation into superhero…getting ready to fight crime in Gotham City (well, by way of Napa). Thinking back and loving the memory, I don’t quite remember why I spent so many frustrated hours trying to make him be something he didn’t want to be.

Drama Queen was my creative one. She had to be something different every year, and none of them linked to the previous year. Witch, cheerleader, Robin, Spider Queen…every year was a new surprise. I also argued with her, but because I wanted her to choose the costumes I remembered having as a kid. Her and I have always been polar in this area. And, of course, now I wonder why I spent so much time trying to conform her into my image.

This year is the first where Holy Terror is preparing his trick-or-treat strategy (practicing his firm “Trick or Treat” and “Thank You”). This is the first year where Super-Wy realizes what is going on and just might make it beyond a half block before his meltdown.

My memories are bittersweet as I look back on the first time we walked them around, the first time they went to the doors by themselves, the first time they walked without us.

As for this year?

I look forward to handing out the candy and waiting for the little boys to come home and tell me all about their Halloween adventure with dad.

I hope to look back fondly at the older kids milestones of trick or treating by themselves in a different neighborhood and attending their first Halloween party. I also hope they’ll come home and tell me all about their adventures too.

Ash and I are happy they are growing up, but sad they are growing up…why does parenting have to be so contradictory?

Now, I have to remember that by tomorrow I’ll be all in the events with my game face on and happy they're enjoying themselves. I’ll bring you more news and pictures on Sunday.

Happy Halloween to all our family and friends! Enjoy the memories you’re making, because you can’t make them over again!