Thursday, April 14, 2011

Life's Many Twists

As you can see, I haven't posted here in a couple months. I wish I could say it was because we at the Norris Ranch have been having too much fun. Life can't be all roses and laughter, I guess. There were good doses of that during this lapse...but unfortunately, our personal life has taken one of its many unwelcomed turns.

So weird when the other areas have been going so well. Our finances finally leveled out. My publishing dream is coming true in spades. My children are strong and healthy and doing (or not doing) exactly what they're supposed to for their ages. My husband and I are more in love and connected than we've ever been. Work is rewarding and challenging.

I feel sucker punched.

Stunned disbelief turned to panic turned to denial turn to distress turned to frustration turned to angry.

Yes, I was -- and still sometimes am -- angry. I can admit it in the framework of words on screen. I want to throw something, yell at someone, and...blame anything other than the fact "it happens". "It happens" is not tangible to me. I can't grasp it, come to terms with it and then tuck it away.

It's there. It's not going away any time soon. It's causing pain. With the anger came the fear of acceptance.

I have a brain tumor.

With the acceptance, I gazed around and noticed life continued ticking. Nothing halted. The world kept going and I could either falter, freeze, and stop going with it...or, I could work through it and beyond it.

I could get through it. I mean, come on, I have the best ammunition in the world. A loving husband, 4 awesome kids, a large supportive family, and really great friends. Who could ask for anything better than that going into something soooo scary?


  1. Oh Amber, i don't even know what to say.....What are your next steps? What have the doctors said? I am so sorry. I wish i were there to offer more help and love!!

    I Love you!!

  2. Wow...I am completely speechless. I know that you will do everything you can to fight this. Please know that you will be in my prayers and I will do what I can, being a thousand miles away! Also, please keep us updated on your progress. Love and hugs to you and your family. Lisa

  3. My thoughts and prayers for you and your family as you face this battle. I know that a brain tumor will not define you, not by a long shot, and although it is a hard road to face you have my support and love along the way. If ever you need an ear to laugh, cry, rant about, tell it off, or just chat it up with, you will always have me here to listen. This is just a hiccup, because you have 'to infinity and beyond' of life’s wondrous journeys to take and I'm right behind you.