Friday, September 18, 2009

Tense Toddler Negotiations

Morning starts with the toss of the gauntlet by Holy Terror. He now doesn't want the dinosaurs he bought yesterday. He wants the motorcycle and rider Wyatt picked.

The stand-off begins.

Holy Terrors stomps with all his might. Super-Wy responds with his best warrior's bellow. The negotiator has to go to work. This situation will have to wait. The dinosaurs are placed in the safety of the neutral zone (breakfast bar). Super-Wy remains in possession of the motorcycle and rider by rights of ownership.

Negotiations flow to the office setting with a very important toddler conference call.

"Hello?" The negotiator asks from her desk.

"Mom, mom." Pause. "I'm giving Wyatt my dinosaurs and he's giving me his motorcycle and guy."

"Is Wy aware you are trading?" I ask. This sneaky trade tactic as been used before without the knowledge or consent of the secondary dealer. The result was near-toddler meltdown (imagine Chernobyl disaster, if you will).

"I get the dinosaurs!" Super-Wy chimes in with excitement.

Confusion of multiple toddlers speaking at once, and arguing about who's going to talk, ensues for several moments. This, until the daddy (aka conference liaison) speaks up and concludes the negotiation talks have been successful, and confirms the tension has settled.

All in a days work for the mom and dad of two tough cookies.


  1. Ahh having children sounds like fun!

    Please could I acquire the phrase 'conference liaison'? It's a good term for my current wip.

  2. No problem Yuna...use the term at will. Having kids can be tedious but if you look at situations like these one with humor, it become more like a comedy. I hope your wip's going well. Haven't seen you on CC as much lately.