Friday, February 12, 2010

Parkour Boy Turns Fifteen

"Three more years and I am on my own!" Parkour Boy smiles and tosses in a fist pump.

My heart cracks a little more and I fight back the tears. I smile, nod, and give my best "Mom-style" fist pump (the kind intended for full embarrassment impact).

Everyone else sees a young man growing into adulthood. I can see that too. But what they don't see?

The little toddler who squealed over dump trucks and fell in love with C3PO. The young boy of 5 who, for years, introduced himself as a paleontologist. The little toe-head who would run and jump in my lap and cuddle, but refuse to hold my hand in the store because he was "a big boy".

If I close my eyes real tight I can feel him as a baby wrapped tight in the nook of my arms. When we're on the beach I can look at him in the distance walking with his dad...and I'm not seeing the teenager in deep discussion. I'm seeing the little boy giggling and holding Daddy's hand.

I love him so much, and I'm proud he's independent, strong-willed, and excited to start his own adventure. But my heart breaks a little bit more the closer he gets.

Why am I a babbling mess? A cry baby at the drop of a hat? Happy one moment and completely a wreck the next?

Monday, Parkour Boy turns 15.

Don't get me wrong...I am happy but as any Mom will tell you, it's a double-edge sword. Each milestone ahead of them is farther away from you and your protective wings. And I'll admit, with Parkour Boy it's a little keener than the others. He's my first and the most like me. He's the one who altered my whole life. I looked into those baby blue eyes in the hospital and could feel the shift. THUD! My heart fell for him and I was from that moment on a Mother.

He's my poet, my artist, and my adventure partner. He's fearless, tiresome, internal yet goofy too. He's a brooder and a natural cynic. Parkour's an old soul who's ready to take each moment in depth and draw from it the most he can.

God, I love him (oh man, here come the tears again...damn it).

Happy birthday, Honey. I love you very much.


  1. What a handsome guy he is turning out to be! This was a beautiful post and it made me appreciate the time I have with my own son. Good job Mom at raising such an awesome young man!

  2. Wow, i'm not even his mom and it made me tear up.....he is so handsome! You done good kid.....he looks like a wonderful lil man.

  3. This was beautiful! Lisa

  4. Oh wow, yeah I got a tear or two outta this. I remember him as the little guy in the first picture. They grow so quickly don't they. Life was never the same when he entered your life - I know that feeling :)

  5. Thanks fellow mommies and my dear friends...I know you all feel what I'm feeling when the birthday time hits.

    Where's the rewind button??? But at the same time I want to see what he grows confusing.