Friday, February 12, 2010

Parkour Boy Turns Fifteen











"Three more years and I am on my own!" Parkour Boy smiles and tosses in a fist pump.

My heart cracks a little more and I fight back the tears. I smile, nod, and give my best "Mom-style" fist pump (the kind intended for full embarrassment impact).

Everyone else sees a young man growing into adulthood. I can see that too. But what they don't see?

The little toddler who squealed over dump trucks and fell in love with C3PO. The young boy of 5 who, for years, introduced himself as a paleontologist. The little toe-head who would run and jump in my lap and cuddle, but refuse to hold my hand in the store because he was "a big boy".

If I close my eyes real tight I can feel him as a baby wrapped tight in the nook of my arms. When we're on the beach I can look at him in the distance walking with his dad...and I'm not seeing the teenager in deep discussion. I'm seeing the little boy giggling and holding Daddy's hand.

I love him so much, and I'm proud he's independent, strong-willed, and excited to start his own adventure. But my heart breaks a little bit more the closer he gets.

Why am I a babbling mess? A cry baby at the drop of a hat? Happy one moment and completely a wreck the next?

Monday, Parkour Boy turns 15.

Don't get me wrong...I am happy but as any Mom will tell you, it's a double-edge sword. Each milestone ahead of them is farther away from you and your protective wings. And I'll admit, with Parkour Boy it's a little keener than the others. He's my first and the most like me. He's the one who altered my whole life. I looked into those baby blue eyes in the hospital and could feel the shift. THUD! My heart fell for him and I was from that moment on a Mother.

He's my poet, my artist, and my adventure partner. He's fearless, tiresome, internal yet goofy too. He's a brooder and a natural cynic. Parkour's an old soul who's ready to take each moment in depth and draw from it the most he can.

God, I love him (oh man, here come the tears again...damn it).


Happy birthday, Honey. I love you very much.

video

5 comments:

  1. What a handsome guy he is turning out to be! This was a beautiful post and it made me appreciate the time I have with my own son. Good job Mom at raising such an awesome young man!

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  2. Wow, i'm not even his mom and it made me tear up.....he is so handsome! You done good kid.....he looks like a wonderful lil man.

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  3. This was beautiful! Lisa

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  4. Oh wow, yeah I got a tear or two outta this. I remember him as the little guy in the first picture. They grow so quickly don't they. Life was never the same when he entered your life - I know that feeling :)

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  5. Thanks fellow mommies and my dear friends...I know you all feel what I'm feeling when the birthday time hits.

    Where's the rewind button??? But at the same time I want to see what he grows into...so confusing.

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